Kursus Fasilitator

I just came back from Kursus Fasilitator that I've told in my previous entry. Well, the Kursus was held under Gabungan Pelajar Melayu Semenanjung (GPMS) Cawangan Khas Uitm Kedah at Kampung Acheh Management Center (KAMC) Yan, due to enhance the participants' soft skills. Frankly speaking I joined it because I want to full my weekend with a good activity. Plus, because it's been a long time ago I didn't go for any Kursus and I knew that there were many outdoor activities. That was influence me enough. I went there with full of hoping that I could join the jungle tracking and the night walk. Fortunately, it was paid. I don't want to state the pros and the contra of the Kursus, since I got many things to do. So, I have nothing too much to say. Just enjoy with the pictures.

This was when jungle tracking and we stopped at Batu Hampar and we got our bath.

Seriously, the view of the place is wonderful.

I love this one the most.

p/s; I know this blog is no longer interesting for you to read, I really sorry for this because I really don't have enough time to type the real entry like before. I'll work for it and I'll try to make this blog as the real "rda's"

Still, busy.

Currently, I am working on Bel 313 second assignment to be finished. Afterwards, going to finish Law's assignment. Next is, going to practice forum for Bel 313. 10 Feb will going back to KL due to Chinese New Year Holiday. Good for being Malaysian. Banyak cuti. 12 Feb till 16 Feb are the training for Debat ASTAR at UiTM Shah Alam, as usual. 17 Feb, Debat ASTAR Tournament perhaps. Okay, I'm going to Kursus Fasilitator today at 4 pm. And now, I'm too anxious when thinking of assignments. Okay, will update later. Sorry blog. T___T

AGM of Debate's Club

Okay, I know it's lame. But since I just got all the picture, so only now I can update regarding the AGM last week. So people, just see all the picture.








I love the last picture the most. :)

p/s; People, it kind of busy lately so might be no update for this 2 or 3 days. Do miss me yeah. ;p

Things, people. All changed.

Sekarang memang dah malam. Adik-adik semua dah tidur sebab esok sekolah ganti untuk Raya Cina. Haishhh, kalau jadi diorang malasnya nak sekolah. Well, I'm going back to Kedah tomorrow evening. Yang ni lagi triple malas. Dah malas nak fikir pasal Kedah. Malam-malam macam ni memang buat I teringat masa kecil. And semua benda pun boleh buat I senyum kambing sorang-sorang. Tapi sekarang, semua macam dah lain. Lain sangat.

Kalau dulu, setiap pukul 10 malam, ayah akan suruh naik bilik tidur. Disebabkan beza I dengan abang hanya 2 tahun, so kitorang memang banyak spend time together masa kecil. Besar pun sama-sama. Eh, abang besar dulu. So, bila ayah suruh naik kitorang akan sama-sama buat muka, sebab Sunday Night Movie belum habis lagi. Tapi still naik, sebab takut kena cubit dengan mak. And before naik tidur, mesti salam mak ayah. Mintak maaf, and bagi salam. Sangat sweet.

Then, biasanya akan senyap-senyap bukak tv kat atas (dalam bilik) sebab nak sambung tengok movie. Bila ayah naik, automatically my brother and I akan pretend tidur tanpa plan. Sampai ayah tutup pintu dan turun balik. Padahal ayah tahu kitorang tipu. T____T Memang annoying, tapi itulah yang I rindu sekarang ni. Sebab sejak duduk hostel masa form1, nak naik tidur tak pernah dah salam mak ayah. Kalau ayah suruh tidur pun, buat bodoh je. Sebab konon dah besar. Yang paling sedih, dah tak buat-buat tidur dengan my brother dah. Bilik pun dah lain-lain. Dah besar. Nak ada serumah sama-sama pun dah jarang, sebab cuti lain-lain.

Dulu, masa bulan puasa macam-macam komplot I dengan Along (my brother) buat. Sebab bila darjah 3 memang wajib puasa penuh. Abang pulak dah darjah 5. Lagi wajib. Tapi, adik perempuan yang bawah I baru 4 tahun, dia tak puasa. Biasanya petang-petang masa bulan puasa, around 5 pm mak akan suruh Along pergi bazar, belikan Kak Lang (adik) makanan sebab dia akan lapar. Along ikut je cakap mak, pergi bazar naik basikal sorang-sorang. Masa tu I ready depan tv je, tengok macam-macam cerita. Then, bila Along balik, Kak Lang mesti takde kat rumah. Sebab main kat rumah jiran.

Then, Along selalu letak makanan Kak Lang atas TV (masa tu tak pakai TV plasma lagi. HAHA) Siapa yang tak lapar bila tengok makanan atas TV kan? I tak salah, sebab niat memang nak tengok TV. Tapi nampak makanan, terus lapar gila nak mampus. Lepas tu, Along akan jeling-jeling dan akhirnya kitorang tewas dengan sehelai mee goreng. Makan sehelai (ke seutas?) pun jadi, padahal bukan kenyang pun. Batallah puasa. Tapi sekarang, jangan kata nak ponteng puasa sama-sama, nak puasa sama-sama pun belum tentu. Dalam sebulan, maybe dapat 2-3 hari je untuk puasa sama-sama.

Bila I fikir balik, memang masa kecil hidup sangat bahagia. Ponteng puasa pun, tak rasa apa-apa. Tapi sekarang, macam-macam benda ada dalam kepala. Sampai tak tahu nak fikir yang mana dulu. Semua benda berubah, diri sendiri apatah lagi. Walaupun kita tak perasan. Sekarang dah 1.13 am. I dah mengantuk, bye.

If I can be somebody else

I want to be like Princess Mia in Princess Diaries. She got everything that she want. She's beautiful, pretty, honest. Just perfect. But, she have to control her attitude, manners. She are forced to be hypocrite. Because she is a princess. No, I won't be like her. So, perhaps I can be like Puteri in Gol & Gincu. Perhaps, I have perfect girlfriends like hers. But, Puteri is so western. I'm a Malay, and I do love the culture. So, I would not be like Puteri. I think, it's okay if I can be Bella or Intan in Pisau Cukur. Because, it seems like I can get a rich husband someday and I can get everything that I want, indeed. But I'm not too materialistic. I'm satisfying with my current life. So, perhaps I can be like Neytiri the heroin of Avatar. She's so fantastic. I can prove to the world that a woman, still can be a hero. A strong woman like Neytiri. But she's not a real human. I mean, it's quite impossible to be like her unless I got the miracles. I won't be somebody else. I just want to be my self. Because it's the best for me. I'm proud to be who I am.

P/s; people, how about the new layout? Is it elegant? HAHA.

Have been tagged.

Rules: once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 10 people to be tag :

1. I really love to read my grammar book on my bed before I sleep.
2. Addicted to farmville sampai tahap roommates menyampah every time I on my laptop.
3. Ohhh, orang panggil I Rda. Kadang-kadang Rda Hot. Tapi kalau you nak panggil Rda Gorgeous pun okay what.
4. Sangat suka bergelak ketawa dan mengarut di dalam kelas. (I tahu classmates I menyampah, tapi kisah apa? Haha.)
5. Gila karaoke. Kalau diberi peluang karaoke satu hari suntuk tanpa henti pun, I sanggup. Sebab suara I sedap. Dah, diam.
6. I love to read about politics compared to economy. Ini fact tau.
7. I rasa I pandai berlakon. Tak percaya, tanya my roommates and classmates. Ahha.
8. Kalau I bukan seorang pelajar Law, mungkin I akan ambil Account. I hates any science subjects. T_________T
9. Law adalah my favourite course sebab I berjaya isi borang UPU dengan memilih Law dari number satu sampai 6. Believe me.
10. I wish I could continue degree in Law once I finished my foundation. I mean, I really want it.
11. I suka lelaki messy dan berkulit AGAK gelap! Contoh terbaik, Remy Ishak dan Pieere Andre. Say BIG NO to lelaki jambu.
12. Akan menggigil setiap kali tengok cerita hantu dan bunuh membunuh. Tapi I suka tengok.
13. I suka colour brown, pink, and white.
14. Addicted to Gol & Gincu, and Gossip Girl. Kenapa mesti capital 'G'?
15. Poorly, I takde lesen P lagi. I takut, tak tipu. WTH?
16. Sangat bahagia hidup sebagai seorang single. Bukan ANDARTU sebab I masih muda. Faham?
17. My first boyfriend is when I was in standard 4. T_____T Gila gatal kau ni.
18. My last boyfriend is when I was 18. Sekarang I dah 19! ^^
19. I'm not a punctual person. Sorry for being late. Hehe.
20. Pernah digelar sebagai Ratu Gedik satu ketika dahulu. And I was proud of it. Gedik tu cantik lah.
21. Mula terfikir untuk jadi seorang lawyer masa berumur 9 tahun lagi. And now, Alhamdulillah I'm a lawyer-to-be.
22. My favourite cartoon masa kecil ialah, Dragon Ball and Pokemon. Sekarang, paling layan Detective Conan.
23. Cerita pertama yang I addicted ialah Ultraman.
24. I can't sleep in dark. Please, at least bukak lampu toilet.
25. I believe in my self.

10 people to be tagged would be

1. FS sayang
2. Dyla baby
3. Feeqa bucuk
4. Lila kau pehal? ^^
5. Ween lesbo alam maya
6. Zigha, kita semua sepakat (Haha)
7. Rina Sakila, kau rajin ke nak buat?
8. Ainul, junior terhebat.
9. Syuhada, blogger best. (Schult)
10. Anybody, please.

Only Hope

I know it's sounds weird when I'm trying hardly to hide something from you, or even when I'm trying to persuade my self not to cry again. Because everybody knows how strong I am. And it's been a long time, I haven't cry for people. It's been long time ago, I cried for you. But not for now, I am wasting my tears just for you and I won't ever do it again. Because I do love my self more than I love you. I don't need you to tell my problems to. I don't need you to cry with. Because I already found my only hope in my life. Forever. Thanks Allah for giving me a strong heart.

There's a song that's inside of my soul

It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again

I'm awake in the infinite cold

But You sing to me over and over and over again

So I lay my head back down

And I lift my hands

and pray to be only Yours

I pray to be only Yours

I know now you're my only hope

Sing to me the song of the stars

Of Your galaxy dancing and laughing

and laughing again

When it feels like my dreams are so far

Sing to me of the plans that You have for me over again

So I lay my head back down

And I lift my hands and pray

To be only yours

I pray to be only yours

I know now you're my only hope

I give You my destiny

I'm giving You all of me

I want Your symphony

Singing in all that I am

At the top of my lungs I'm giving it back

So I lay my head back down

And I lift my hands and pray

To be only yours

I pray to be only yours

I pray to be only yours

I know now you're my only hope

I do love the song, because it gives me the spirit of being the old me. The strong one. I can smile now, or even laugh. Thanks Ama (roommate) for giving this song.

Semua berubah, jadi lain.

Kenapa, entah tiba-tiba I rasa semua benda dah berubah. Semua bukan macam dulu lagi. Sekarang, semua benda dah lain. Hati, perasaan, emosi. Tak macam dulu. Behavior, expression, attitude, semua dah lain. For about two months, baru I perasan yang I dah tak dengar radio langsung. Kalau dulu, pantang ada masa terus bukak Fly.fm tak pun Hot.fm. Sekarang, please jangan tanya lagu-lagu baru kat I sebab I memang outdated. T_____T

Dulu, I betul tak kisah kalau my mum or my dad tak call I for a week. Tapi, sekarang I sangat-sangat perlukan diorang dengan lebih kerap. I homesick. I rindu rumah, I rindu my family, I rindu my siblings, I rindu everything. Nak balik. Dan I akan cuba balik jugak next week, even sorang-sorang. Even ada class trip, perhaps. Bila tadi, mak tersalah bagi empty message pun, air mata dah boleh bergenang.

Sekarang, susah untuk I cakap, siapa yang paling dekat di hati. Siapa yang paling boleh faham diri I, siapa yang betul-betul boleh kongsi apa saja dengan I. I've no specific person. Kalau dalam kelas, I kawan dengan orang lain, dalam bilik got a sweet time dengan roommates. Kalau nak balik KL, kadang-kadang dengan orang tu, and sometimes dengan orang ni pulak. Kalau busy, mesti dengan all debater. Kalau bab shopping kawan lain, makan kawan lain, study kawan lain. Tak macam dulu. Dulu, I tahu siapa yang I boleh panggil best friend. Dulu, I kenal siapa good friend. I taknak cari apa pro dan contra keadaan yang sekarang ni. Sebab I betul tak nak fikir tentang sebarang hubungan. I nak kawan dengan semua orang. Supaya, takde masa untuk I terasa hati dan bermasam muka dengan sesiapa.

Dulu, I boleh post one entry per day even busy macam mana pun, or even takde idea sekalipun. Tapi sekarang blog dah sunyi. Dah berhabuk. Orang pun dah malas nak comment.

p/s; Dulu I boleh stay-up sampai 3-4 pagi, tapi sekarang jangan harap. Pukul 12 pun dah start ngantuk.

Busy month I guess

To-do-list;

14 Jan at 2 pm ada Introduction to Law 2 first test which is I tak baca satu apa pun lagi.

15 Jan, I have to go to Central Square for doing some shooting as regarding to the broadcasting.

16 Jan at evening, I am going to Penang with my teammates to continue doing our broadcasting, we're going to overnight there until 17 Jan. And I have some mission to be accomplished. I'll state it later.

18 Jan, perhaps I got the Debate's training at night regarding to present in AGM. And not to be forgotten, the replacement class with Miss Aisyah at the same time. And now, I'm confusing on how to choose which one is more important. T______T

19 Jan, got full of classes at day and the AGM at night and perhaps the AGM will be ended at 11 pm.

20 Jan, have to pass the Psychology assignment an I'm thinking about what's the most right and suitable time to finish the task given.

That's all for now, perhaps. I'll update later regarding my mission that I told you before.

I don't need them now.

Seriously, ramai tanya how could I handle my life without thinking of having a boyfriend. I really don't know how to answer it. Because the reason is too subjective. But let me tell you in the proper way. Frankly speaking, at first it was not as easy as I think. Because I've never stopped of having a boyfriend or even a scandal. But now, it's totally different because I have nobody special to send me the sms everyday to ask my current condition. I have nobody to ask for hangout and watching movie together. I have nobody to tell all about my activities to. It was a hard time at first. Because I was not used of being a single lady.

I've no negative perception about men. I don't even want to blame them for doing the bad thing in my previous relationship. Because I think, they're just same like us. A human. But, what I'm trying to tell is that I just don't need them to complete my life for now. I think it's enough. Because they had never do that before. Because, they're just not my type, and it's difficult to find. That's why, what I've try to do right now is just to wait for them to come into my life.

I was thinking on why should I have a boyfriend and I found that it's unnecessary at all. Because I got a simple life right now and it's good enough for me. Why should I get over them even though they're not suit with me? It's wrong of having a boyfriend just for fun, or even just for complete our lives. Because I want it goes seriously. I want a serious relationship. I want the true one, a guy who have all of the traits that I want. And since, it's difficult to find that type of guy, so why should I think that I need them?

I just don't need them right now. And I mean, just for now. Because I've failed to find someone who really deserve to be adored to and I'm always wishing that I'm going to get one, someday. That's the way how I handle my life without thinking of men. Because, he's not around. A guy that I need.

What a life?

Mak yang rajin bagi message, "Buat apa? Taknak balik ke this weekend?

Ayah yang selalu call, "Duit ada lagi? Nak abah topupkan tak?"

Abang yang errr, gemuk. Okay tak. Abang yang selalu bagi hadiah untuk farmville. T_____T

Adik perempuan berumur 15 tahun yang selalu pinjam baju I. Okaylah, kitorang buat sistem barter.

Adik lelaki, si Ceplos "Rda, Abid nak pinjam RM5 boleh? Nanti Abid bayar lah balik. Tau?" Even dia TAKKAN bayar balik, tapi selaku kakak yang baik terus amek purse dan keluarkan RM5 senyap-senyap sebab takut mak marah. Haha.

I think my family is good enough.

Perfect. (^_____^)

Pilihan

I jenis yang susah untuk terus menerima apa yang orang cakapkan. Tapi kali ni, betul. Belum sampai sesaat dua, I percaya. Hidup ini soalnya adalah tentang kita membuat pilihan. Dan I pasti, ramai yang sedang mengangguk setuju. Kita ada kanan dan kiri, depan dan belakang, atas dan bawah, gelap dan terang, betul dan salah, kawan dan musuh, dosa dan pahala, dan banyak lagi pilihan-pilihan yang boleh kita buat sepanjang hidup kita.

It's true when people believe the existence of choices. Tapi yang menjadikan kita lain, bila ada di antara kita yang menyangka pilihan ini bukan atas kehendak kita. Tapi ada juga yang percaya, ia berada di tangan kita. And as for me, I percaya kedua-dua nya. Cuma sometimes manusia akan cenderung untuk menyalahkan takdir bila pilihan yang dia dapat tak sama dengan apa yang dia nak. Ada juga yang sering menyalahkan diri sendiri sebab rasa useless, bila tersalah buat pilihan.

Tapi samada kita sedar atau tidak, dalam menghukum kesalahan siapa juga adalah satu pilihan. Ada beberapa perkara yang mengganggu fikiran I lately ni. Kenapa kita perlu rasa useless setiap kali kita tersalah membuat pilihan? Kenapa perlu ada rasa kesal dalam diri kita setipa kali kita tak dapat apa yang kita inginkan? Hidup ni bukan soalnya tentang sentiasa memandang kebelakang dengan niat kononnya ingin dijadikan pengajaran. Tapi sesekali, kita perlu lupakan apa yang pernah berlaku supaya tidak timbul kekesalan. Because as for me, once you decided to do the thing you have to accept the consequences. Don't ever look back instead by looking forward and thinking on how to face the coming choices.

Sebab tu setiap kali tahun baru, orang akan simpan azam baru. Mungkin bagi certain people, it's just to follow the tradition by making the resolution for each year. Tapi bagi I, resolution ni penting untuk kita planning hidup kita on what we gonna do in future. Sebab, hidup bukan untuk kita main redah apa yang datang. Tapi untuk kita fikir apa yang perlu kita buat. Memandangkan sometimes kita tak punya banyak masa untuk berfikir, masa tu lah kita akan gunakan segala apa yang kita dah plan earlier. Sebab resolution tu jugak boleh jadi satu preparation untuk kita in case ada something happen dalam hidup dan kita tak ada masa yang panjang untuk buat keputusan.

Plus, bila kita buat planning at least kita tahu apa limitation diri kita. Kita tahu, apa abilities yang kita ada. We know, what we supposedly do. Supaya bila setiap kali kita buat pilihan dalam hidup kita, takkan ada rasa kesal dengan apa pun consequences yang datang. Sebab segalanya tentang kita yang membuat pilihan. Bukan atas desakan dan pilihan orang lain dalam hidup kita even for a kid pun, diorang akan buat pilihan sendiri samada nak main atau tengok tv. Unless kalau orang tu memang sentiasa berharap pada orang lain. Okay, tu dah masuk cerita lain.

p/s; Sedar atau tidak, setiap pilihan yang kita buat menggambarkan siapa kita, bagaimana diri kita. Sebab setiap pilihan adalah satu pendirian.

p/s; Puas dapat post entry. Bye bye, I busy. T________T

Resolution 2010

I need some rest right now indeed but instead of having a sleep I still want to update this blog regarding the promise I made from the previous entries to tell about the resolution and all the wishes for 2010. Well, this is the second entry in 2010 and I wish that it would not be a long entry as it was my vision in being a good blogger. I have to type a short, but understandable entry. Despite I'm using the old-fashioned home's laptop because mine was not working and need to be repaired. I will get mine, in about two or three months later. *sigh

I was realize that all of my problems in 2009 was because of my failure in managing time. It was the big reason, why I got a very low pointer, why I failed to get enough of sleep, why I woke up too late every morning and sometimes I have to skip the class in the morning. Just because I failed to manage my timetable wisely. So, the first resolution is by managing time properly and I need to make a weekly planner as I will not going to follow the daily timetable. Reduce the using of laptop because when I switch on my laptop, I am always tend to online and play farmville. What a waste of time. T____T

Secondly, is about the weight. I want to reduce my weight as soon as possible by limit the daily usage of pocket money so I will not going to buy too many foods. And perhaps I would get two things, less weight and less usage of money. Next, perhaps I would always be in the futsal court to play the handball in order to reduce my weight. Okay, please don't laugh. This is my target.

Lastly is study harder and smarter because the result was not good enough. I need to concentrate in lectures because it would help me to understand the lesson. No more skip the class without a sensible reason. And friends, do prompt me since I am just a human, easy to forget.

p/s; These two weeks would be too busy because the Law, Psychology, and Library test is coming. We need to pass Psychology's assignment by 14th. The video advertisement should be passed in Wednesday. And I need some space to relax because being a secretary of Debate's Club is not as easy as I think.

p/ss; I think, I do love the wedges that I bought from Vincci on Friday. Yeay. (:

p/sss; I don't have enough time to care about you. So, please go from my life.

A good starter.

I've started the year with two best friends in KLCC. Spending the whole day together and it makes today as a good starter of the year. Tapi sekarang memang penat tahap dewa, kaki lenguh, mata kuyu. Memang rasa nak tidur tapi macam awal sangat lah pulak. So, I decided untuk online. Tapi sorry lah, janji untuk post berkenaan wishes 2010 terpaksa dibatalkan. Memandangkan wishes sangat banyak, so perlukan tenaga yang banyak jugak untuk menaip entry yang panjang. Jadi, malam ni tenaga memang sangat-sangat mengecewakan. Jadi, saksikan jelah perempuan-perempuan hot di bawah ni. Haha.