Lonely

Sekarang sedang kesunyian di bilik. Actually, I'm waiting for my roommate back from CS because she bought KFC for me and like seriously, I'm freaking hungry. Come on Ama, please back quickly. Anaz just called me, asked me to have dinner with Aqim and him but I told him that I'm waiting for my snack plate. Yummy yummy.

Ohh, tak lah over sampai macam ni. Ni sekadar gambar hiasan. Ikhsan pakcik Google.

And at the same time, I'm waiting for any calls from cik FS to inform me whether she want to come back or not. FS, please come back. I need you to accompany me in my room. Two of my roommates are in their hometown. Tinggal lah Ama and I. Ama pulak keluar mencari makanan. Haha. So FS, jom balik UiTM. Boleh puasa sama-sama mulai esok. Kata nak kurus. *Gunakan puasa untuk kurus, jahat.

FS, aku baru perasan yang last kita ambil gambar sama-sama kat UiTM adalah tahun lepas. Before I went to VC Cup lagi. T___T Betapa lama kita tak lepak bersama kan kan?

Terima kasih kepada abang-abang hensem di bawah yang sudi temankan I sepanjang hari ni dengan lagu-lagu anda yang sangatlah LAYAN.

Abang Bob Marley ni hensem jugak dua kali tengok. I like 'Get up, stand up' the most.

And thanks too to abang-abang Beatles dengan lagu-lagu yang sangat mantap. Abang sangat hensem dah stylish. I love you all.

p/s; Tengok title pun dah tahu kenapa I bertindak macam ni. Inilah kesan dari kesunyian. T__T
p/ss; Yeay! My parents will pick me up on 15th March. Thanks Mak and Abah. :)

Study-Examination-Home

Hello people. The struggle has begin. And guess what, I'm not going to back home for this study week because I need to replace all of my tests within this study week. Plus, I'm not going to study when I'm home. So people, I'm quite busy for these two weeks because I need to finish my reading on Law, Psychology and Library subjects. Well, this the timetable for these two weeks.

1 March 2010 - Library Test at 11 am.
2 March 2010 - Forum for Anam's group and I'll be the moderator.
Within 3 March till 6 March 2010 - Law Test *I'm not sure the date*
8 March 2010 - Final examination *Library's paper 9 am till 11 am
10 March 2010 - Psychology's paper 9 am till 11 am
12 March 2010 - Law II's paper 9 am till 11 am
14 March 2010 - Bel260's paper 9 am till 12 pm
15 March 2010 - Will back home, perhaps.

The rest of the dates above, perhaps I'm going to recover all the chapters for all the subjects. And like seriously, I can't wait to back home on 15 March because I really miss my family. Plus, I want to see all of my friends. Perhaps, I got the Debate training for my semester break. Rda likes this. :)

So people, please pray for me okay. I love you more than everything. Believe me, people.

p/s; Can't wait for Kek Lapis from Sarawak. *Thanks Remy*
p/ss; Will fight for MUET once I finished my examination.

Relationship status

Hye peeps. I just changed my relationship status in Facebook from single to engaged to Natalia Harris Thang. I think it's becoming the typical thing to everyone because most of people do the same thing. I mean, their relationship status changed to in a relationship, engaged, or married to their own friends. For me, my self I think it's cool because I do love my friend and if I can, I want to show to people that I'm in relationship with all of my friends. Being single is not bad at all because still, I have you (friends) besides me. And I think it's not a big problem if the relationship status is "single" because it's actually showing that we're not easy to get into the relationship. As for me, the relationship is a precious thing and we have to take it seriously. So people, do appreciate all the people around you because you're actually in a relationship with all that people. People, I love you because you're everything. Don't go far away from me.

*And as for my new fiance, Natalia thanks baby. I love you the most.

*Kakak, jangan jeles okay?

I want to cry!

Everybody is sleeping right now. Zigha and Leya plan to wake up at 5 am, and I'm not going to do so. I hate wake up in the early morning. So, I have to stay up until now because I want to finish my reading since I got 3 tests for tomorrow. And surely, I feel like crying right now. And I'm scared if I don't have enough time to finish all of this. To persuade my self, I take a look at the picture of the farewell party yesterday. Yeah, I look gorgeous. People, please pray for my tests tomorrow!

With the classmates for this second semester. Brilliant.

I've never know how to play guitar. I just pose with it.

p/s; Critical Thinking test, Speaking test and Psychology test for tomorrow. They're killing me.
p/ss; The final exam would be started on 8th of March and will be ended on 14th of March. Yeeehaaa.

Special dedication to all debaters

Biar manusia mengata, memandang pelik pada kita. Kita berjuang, memang sentiasa dihalang. Selagi masih ada roh dan jasad yang berpadu, semangat kita pasti kuat. Bukan kemenangan yang kita pinta dan agung-agungkan. Tapi nilai yang sukar untuk kita cari andai kita bukan bersama keluarga ini. Kekuatan yang kita perolehi, hasil semangat bersama. Kita bermula sebagai pasukan, kita ubah jadi satu keluarga, dan selamanya kita masih satu keluarga. Yang seringkali akan jatuh bersama, dan bangun kembali sambil genggaman erat tangan.

Kalian adalah antara insan terindah yang pernah aku ketemu. Setiap detik kenangan, ingin sekali aku ulang bagi mengisi kekosongan kehidupan. Setiap pelajaran yang kalian bekalkan, terlalu mahu untuk aku kekalkan dalam ingatan dan untuk dijadikan pengajaran. Setiap nilai kasih dan sayang yang kalian curahkan, selalu aku simpan. Buat bekalan, kekuatan dalam kehidupan. Kalian indah, keluarga yang kalian cipta sangat indah. Andai aku bijak dalam penulisan, takkan cukup untuk aku ucapkan rasa syukur dengan tulisanku. Andai aku bagus dalam percakapa, tetap tidak dapat membantu aku meluahkan bahasa lughahku, rasa cintaku pada kalian.

Harapan aku menggunung tinggi. Aku inginkan rasa kasih dan sayang ini kekal dalam hati. Aku, kalian dan kita semua. Kerana, kalian yang telah mengisi ruang-ruang kosong dalam hati aku, yang selama ini aku biarkan sepi tanpa apa pun. Aku akan seringkali berdoa, agar ikatan yang kita bina akan bermula dan berakhir seperti sedia kala. Aku akan meminta berkali-kali tanpa rasa jemu dan malu kepada Tuhanku, agar kita jauh dari segala keburukan yang bisa merosakkan keindahan perhubungan ini. Duhai Tuhanku, Kau tabahkanlah hatiku demi manusia-manusia yang kucintai ini. Semaikan semangat yang berterusan untuk diri ini. Agar suatu hari nanti, kejayaan datang menghampiri kami disamping nilai dan kualiti.

I'm gonna miss you guys.

Frankly speaking, it's not easy to leave your lovely person after you have the good moments together. This is my first time to feel very sad like this after a long time ago. I want it goes quickly because I'm not confident at all to go through all of this. Thanks people, for the great moments that you have spent with me. I want that sweet memories everyday, but I know it's impossible. People, you have to know this. I love you guys so much from the start we know each other until now, the moment I type this entry and I will always love you guys. You guys have taught me a lot in debate. You guys even know me and understand me a lot. Thanks for being beside me, every time I cry. Thanks for being behind me, every time I feel down. You guys are everything since the day we knew each other. I'm sorry for all the mistakes that I had done. I'm hoping to see you guys again and I really wish for that. Good luck everyone. Love till the end.

I love this family so much. Thanks guys.

Hahaha.

This was the sweetest memory ever. Sedang melobi abang Mont untuk masuk team next tournament. Haha. Best partner for karaoke. (:

Special thanks to all the seniors. Abang Mont, Abang Zarul, Abang Bonat, Abang Sam, Kak Mas, Kak Zam, Kak Kay, Kak Nensi, Abang Hafizal, Remy and all of you. I love you guys. I'm gonna miss you.

Thank You Allah

Alhamdulillah, sekarang dah selamat sampai UM dan baru je balik makan kat Old Town tadi. I have to thankful to Allah for giving me this opportunity. So, sebenarnya I dapat jadi one of debaters for Debat ASTAR ni. And I sangat-sangat bersyukur dan berterima kasih to all the seniors yang banyak bagi tunjuk ajar sepanjang latihan. Frankly speaking, the training was quite tough compared to the previous training and I rasa semua orang alami benda yang sama. Menangis masa training sebab tension tu dah jadi macam benda yang biasa. But still, benda-benda macam tu yang ajar I untuk jadi lebih kuat after this.

So, harapan untuk ASTAR ni adalah untuk buat yang terbaik. Maybe macam cliche je harapan yang I buat but it is for my first experience for being UiTM's debater. I will try my best for this tournament. Walaupun keadaan macam tak berapa nak sihat, tapi still kena kuatkan semangat untuk jadi yang terbaik untuk nama UiTM. Ceh, macam semangat UiTM gila kan. Well, I'm now in UiTM 1 team and my teammates are Remmy as the first speaker, Kak Mas as the third speaker Hatta as the reserve for the team and I, the second speaker.

It's quite tough for bring the UiTM 1 name because we have to think about the expectation of people towards our team. Plus, Remy and kak Mas are the Royal's debaters and this is affecting me a bit. I have to work harder than everybody because I am not too good. Sebab tu sekarang, semua orang keluar pergi mana entah dan I ada kat bilik kononnya nak buat research regarding the motion of the debate. Tapi dah terbukak blog dan facebook pulak kan and terus main farmville. Macam mana entah nak improve kalau terus macam ni. T____T Okay, I main farmville sambil cari facts.

Oh, tadi baru je mak and abah call bagi tahu yang surat Muet dah sampai kat rumah. And I dapat buat Muet kat sekolah Assunta. Seriously, I macam takut gila because my english is not good enough and I need to get Band 4 if I want to pursue Law for my degree. And I know, I have to work on it as soon as possible. Okay, I want to continue my work. Good bye people.

P/s; I really miss Zigha, Nat, FS and Zaty now.
P/s; Good luck people for the test tomorrow. (:

Sorry, I can't make it.

Just want to say sorry to everybody because I don't have enough time to reply all your messages through my phones or even through my facebook and blog. Because I even don't have enough time to take a look for my phones, I'm too busy with the debate thingy. And perhaps, this condition would be continued till the end of ASTAR. InsyaAllah will update this blog after I finished all the things here.

Well, there are many things to tell about regarding this training. It's quite tough because everybody really make lots of effort. So, I have to work harder that everyone because I'm not good enough in debating. So people, please help me by praying for me. Thank peeps.

p/s; Happy Valentine's Day people! I mean, for all my girlfriends. I love you all so much.

I know what I do

This is my choice. Don't ever talk behind my back because you never know who am I. I never disturb you life, so please back off. You don't know what I do. You never know. Because you're nobody in my life. Just back off. Before I hate you.

mood; *berbunga* (tiru zigha)

p/s; I rasa, I sudah semakin tak pandai untuk bercerita.

I am beautiful

The forum of Bel313 titled 'Should Cosmetic Surgery be Banned.' is done well, I guess. I was strictly trying to neutralize the discussion because I was titled as a psychologist and I gave the opinion that the cosmetic surgery can boost the self esteem. But still, there are two types of people that are not appropriate to undergo the cosmetic surgery. The conclusion is, everybody has their rights to decide what is the best thing for themselves. But, in order to be beautiful you have to feel that you're beautiful. That's why I'm beautiful.

p/s; I think that I am quite suitable to be a real psychologist.

p/ss; Rugi takde gambar time forum. Dapat sambutan hangat.

Sebab tu, kita kawan.

Bila orang marah, tandanya orang risau. Bila orang tegur, maknanya orang sayang. Tolonglah faham. Jangan pretend macam kau orang paling baik dalam dunia. Padahal, kau orang yang paling takde hati perut. Think it wisely.

For you.

Kenapa you suka sangat datang, then you hilang. I rindu. I betul rindu, tapi takkan lah setiap kali I rindu, I nak terhegeh-hegeh cari you. It's a BIG no. I tak nak cari you, macam I sorang je yang terkejar-kejar. Kenapa you suka datang bila I betul-betul tengah rindu? Konon you nak hilangkan rasa rindu I? Tapi kenapa lepas tu you pergi? Berhari-hari, berminggu-minggu. I penat tunggu. Tapi I taknak give up, sebab you betul macam yang I idamkan. You ada semua. I taknak start balik dari mula. I taknak kenal orang lain. Please, kalau you betul-betul dengan I jangan buat macam ni. Jangan jadikan busy as your main reason. Sebab, hari-hari pun I tunggu you. Walaupun I tak pernah bagi tahu. Walaupun I tak pernah cerita. Tolong lah faham.

Seriously, mengarut.

Alhamdulillah, lepas satu beban. Assignment Critical Thinking dah siap, tinggal nak print and binding je. Sekarang baru boleh fikir sikit pasal diri sendiri. Kehidupan I lately memang macam zombie. Tidur pukul 3-4 pagi untuk siapkan assignment yang tak seberapa. Bangun pagi, sumpah lah kepala pening gila plus mata pun tak larat nak bukak. Dah 3 hari berturut-turut I tidur kat surau dengan Zira, Natt, Leya and Zaty. Kerja punya pasal. Cuma yang sedihnya, banyak lagi assignment yang nak kena siapkan. This sunday, we have to pass Library's assignment. On tuesday pulak, ada Forum untuk Critical Thinking. Dan hari rabu ada presentation Law. Semua nak berhimpit dalam minggu yang sama.

Dah lah I tengah busy, usaha dapatkan approval dari lecturers and Ketua Pengarah regaring the ASTAR's training. Semua benda pun macam nak bertindih dalam satu masa, test law, tournament debat, final exams pun tinggal beberapa minggu je lagi. Kusut gila kepala, baju pun tak sempat nak basuh. Duit dah lah macam kais pagi makan pagi, kais petang makan petang. Sedih setiap kali tengok diri sendiri kat depan cermin. Miskin. Makan kat foodcourt pun kena amek air kosong yang ada ais sebab free. Ada orang kata air tu tak masak, tapi kisah apa kan. Bantai je lah.

Sekarang ni, I ada kat library. Tiba-tiba rasa bangga dengan internet library uitm ni. Laju je, kalau kat bilik pakai broadband pun macam siput babi. Apatah lagi yang guna wireless uitm atau PC Niaga, mesti macam nak bunuh diri setiap kali online. Sebab sempat siapkan satu simple assignment sementara tunggu page loading. So, hari ni memang cukup berbangga, internet library laju cuma tak boleh nak bukak Facebook je, sebab kena block. Kalau tak, sumpah I main farmville sekarang. Gila lama tak melawat, kambing dan lembu. T___T

Oh, baru teringat. Hari tu, masa buka puasa kat kedai CT Yana depan Uitm ni, I ada borak-borak dengan one of my classmate. Tiba-tiba topic macam serious sebab borak pasal kawin, couple, bla bla. Then, timbul pulak soalan, kenapa I single. I suka jawapan classmate I untuk soalan tu, sebab I rasa dia betul-betul tahu I macam mana. Okay lah, macam panjang je nak cerita pasal tu. Perhaps, I will continue writing about that in the next entry.

p/s; Yeay! Zira and Leya tak jadi balik this week. :)

Hilang Arah

I don't know what is the right word to describe my feeling right now. I betul buntu dalam mencari word yang paling sesuai. Betul, susah untuk luahkan bila orang menunggu luahan kita. Susah nak cerita bila orang tanya tentang cerita kita in details. I bukan jenis yang akan nyanyi bila orang suruh nyanyi. Tapi I jenis yang akan nyanyi bila I rasa I nak nyanyi. I got that shame feeling. Sama jugak bila orang suruh I cerita tentang hati dan perasaan, I bukan jenis yang akan terus cerita. I akan ambil masa untuk cerita, masa yang I rasa I nak dan mahu untuk bercerita.

Sekarang, seolah-olah macam sedang mengalami split identity. Confuse dengan diri sendiri. Sama ada, sunyi atau happy. Suka atau benci. Maybe ni salah satu kesan dari kesibukan I sejak kebelakangan. Like seriously, takde masa untuk fikir tentang diri sendiri. I macam betul-betul perlukan something untuk jadi petujuk arah yang boleh guide apa yang perlu I buat dan apa yang tak patut I buat for my daily life. Sekarang memang banyak sangat conflict. Memang bukan conflict diri sendiri but indirectly I terlibat untuk sama-sama berfikir, macam mana untuk selesaikan semua conflict tu.

I rasa nak plan hidup hari-hari pun macam susah gila. Susah gila nak fikir. Yeah, tiba-tiba teringat pulak slide critical thinking yang Miss Tiya tunjuk tadi. Thinking is a hard thing to do. Betul, sekarang I setuju walaupun tadi ada sedikit argument on what the slide shows. Sebab tadi I rasa, berfikir takkan susah kalau apa yang kita fikir tu tak susah. Tapi in fact, even benda tu simple macam mana sekalipun, still susah nak fikir. Susah. Sebab banyak benda yang kita kena concern bila kita berfikir. Habislah soal fikir-berfikir ni. Sampai bila pun, susah nak habiskan cerita. Cuma, I still terfikir macam mana nak selesaikan masalah hilang arah ni. Masih berfikir.