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Sunday, August 09, 2009

sebabnya, awk.

1)awk tahu tak yg sebenarnya sy dah simpan laptop ni td. sy nk tido awl sbb badan sgt2 x larat. tp masa sy baring td, mcm2 dtg dlm fikiran sy. and everything was about YOU. yes, you.

2)awk, i wish u would read this entry but i know it's impossible. sbb awk x pernah nk tahu pasal sy kan? awk x pernah nk amek tahu langsung. walau berjela2 sy type pun, it would be a rubbish for u. sy tahu semua tu. tp awk tahu x, sampai ke saat ini, sy masih boleh menangis bila terkenang awk. even awk rasa our relationship was over now. tp sy selalu fikir dan rasa, walau jauh mana pun awk pergi dari sy, satu hari nanti awk tetap berlari kejar sy balik. again. sbb it was the 3rd time u came into my life. awk, ini mungkin kebetulan tp kebetulan ni lah yg akan jadikan ianya kenyataan.

3) it was long time ago masa sy mula2 kenal awk. form 2 rite? we were too young at that time even awk tua setahun dr sy. bila sy tak yakin dgn awk, mcm2 yg awk buat untuk yakinkan sy. sampai sy betul2 percaya awk. awk, i miss every single moments bila kita balik sama2 dari hostel. esp, the moment when we stop at every KTM station because we dont want our journey become too fast. sy rindu bila awk sanggup hantar sy seberang jejantas walaupun awk kena tggu the next train untuk balik. awk, bila awk tinggalkan sy 2 days before PMR, awk tahu x mcm mana berkecainya hati sy waktu tu? tp sy tak salahkan awk 100% sebab sy yakin yg suatu hari nanti awk dtg balik pd sy.

4) dan semua jangkaan sy bukanlah meleset. awk cari sy masa sy form 4 kan? even sy dah pindah sekolah time tu tp sy rasa rapat sgt ngan awk. and even kita bergaduh masa keluar, sy tetap syg awk. awk, sebenarnya dah ramai lelaki lain yg hadir dlm hidup sy tp sy tetap syg awk. sebab sy kenal awk. sy x suka sesi perkenalan. nama sy, Rabiatul Adawiyah Sulaiman. but just call me ada. and pls spell it as 'rda'. sy benci. penat. sbb org akan spell nama sy 'ada' even sy dah bgtahu beribu kali. tp bila dgn awk, 1st day kita kenal awk dah panggil sy 'rda' bukan 'ada'. i know it's not a big issue but it was the beginning. how you makes me love u more than everything. awk, sy igt waktu form4 tu kita tak kan berpisah lg. but i was wrong. kenapa kita lost contact tiba2. itu pun sy tak slh kan awk.

5) masa trial SPM sy, tiba2 awk dtg balik dlm hidup sy. awk tahu tak mcm mana perasaan sy masa tu? sy rasa bahagia sgt2 bila sy dgn awk walaupun sy x berapa nk happy tp sy bahagia sbb awk sorang je yg faham sy. and when we broke-up again i know it was not your fault at all. dan bukan jugak slh sy. awk tahu x, sy ada 1 SEBAB kenapa sy mintak break masa tu. and i didn't tell u the reason until now. i didn't tell anybody *before i told FS and DYLA* awk tahu x, sy sanggup hilang awk masa tu sbb sy syg awk sgt2. dan sy bertambah syg awk bila awk menangis sbb sy mintak break. dan awk perlu tahu betapa sedihnya sy walaupun sy yang mintak. sounds stupid kan? it's okay because i know why i do that.

6) awk, sy x expect yg sy akan jumpa awk balik baru2 ni. betul, and sy rasa ni mmg satu kebetulan. even awk dah ada GF tp sy tetap rasa u're mine. sbb sy tahu awk syg sy. cuma cuma, bila awk ckp yg awk tak syg sy, sy faham kenapa. because i did the worst thing in your life and mungkin awk rasa it worthy bila sy pun rasa apa yg awk rasa. betul, what goes around will comes around. tp sy terkilan sbb awk biar sy pergi mcm tu je. tp sy tetap tak slhkan awk sbb sy tahu sy masih ada peluang untuk explain everything to you. kenapa dan mengapa.

7) sy tahu sy bukan yang terbaik untuk awk, sy tahu sy tak pandai langsung jaga hati awk. but at least Tuhan bg sy akal untuk berfikir mcm mana nk jadi yg terbaik dan mcm mana nk improve diri sy. awk tahu x, sy tak doa hari2 mcm mana nk lupakan awk tp sy doa tiap saat dan ketika mcm mana nk dpt kan awk semula dlm hidup sy. sebab sy sentiasa rasa yg awk akan dtg balik dlm hati sy. sebab sy dah simpan awk dalam sgt. trust me. and sekurang2nya sy tak pernah tipu awk. maybe i'm just not tell u the thing that u should know.

8) dan kenapa sy demam pun sebab awk. tp sy tak salahkan awk. maybe sy sendiri yg x boleh dan x tahu nk control myself. sy rasa sy dah nangis byk sgt smpi sy tak sihat. pelik jugak bila tgk saus dan kacang and obsessed pun sy boleh menangis tersedu sedan. sy belum cukup kuat to face all of this alone tp sy kena cuba sbb walaupun sy yakin awk akan dtg balik but in the other space in heart i'm still afraid if u'll not come back.

14 Yorum var:

[b][y][t][i][e] said...

i understand ur situation..
sbr ye..
sometimes, kita in da same condition..
mmg sakit utk hadapi but we should try our best n at da same time,juz go with da flow..

Lady FS. said...

rda ! sabar banyak2 . be strong enough to face all these matters okayh ;)

adiela_91 said...

hang in there rda. if u guys are meant to be, dia lari jauh pun, u guys would still be together.

get well soon :)

love, dyla.

.rda. said...

emm.
kak bytie. thanx so much for that.
betul2. kdg2 kita senyum je depan org lain.
but in fact, kita menangis sorang2 dlm hati.

.rda. said...

haha.
thanx atyn. will be.

.rda. said...

emm.yup dyla.
i believe in that.
thanx.
love yah.
;))

c_p!QuE said...

helo..cian jg ko eh..
ko sabar ar kuatkan dri..
satu msa nant laky tu akan sdr jg pa dia wat ngan ko..
n rilek ar masih rmai kwn2 ko ada utk ko..

semoga sehat cpt;)..

Hidayah said...

sabar bnyk, rda.
sometimes it's cooler if we're single ;))
see, don't hv to topup my phone credit because of the smsing & calling.

no need to worry if 'did i made something wrong? or 'did i do well?' or 'did i hurt his feelings?'

no need to moan or cry if something bad happens.

but anyway, life must go on. cheer up, you! ;D

.rda. said...

to pque.
thanx for your support.
i wish.
thanx so much.
;))

.rda. said...

haha.
cool oh dayah.
thanx yah.
btol2. single is cool oh.
;))

c_p!QuE said...

oh welcome2..
hehe..
i suport u from behind!
hehe..

.rda. said...

haha.
thanx yeah.
;))

FeeQa said...

rda.
sile kuat kn diri anda n sntiase igt.
d uitm nih anda de lg 3 dahan utk b'paot.
K.A.M.I. :D

.rda. said...

haha.
3 je ke??
byk lg la dahan.
;)