Being a teacher.

I was thinking of just being a typical teacher on my first day at school. It means that I just want to go to school in early morning, and come back to home at the evening typically. But my thought was totally wrong. Being a teacher is not an easy thing, yet I'm very thankful for getting the job at this age. I mean, it's too early for me to be a teacher, to teach the kids. I just realized that I'm not only teaching the kids but I'm also being taught so many things.

I learn how to manage my time wisely as I have to intend the lesson for the pupils everytime before I enter the class. I also learn how to control my anger as I have to be as patient as I can, and to prevent my sober mood sometimes. I learn how to be mild. I learn how to swallow the weakness of mine, as I was a lazy person. I was lazy to wake up in the early morning, I was lazy to read any kind of books, yet now I can throw away the laziness. I can learn how to be greatful with every seconds in my day, as I'm too busy right now. I even can think all the memories when I was a kid, a little girl, a primary girl student, when my teachers were trying too hard to make me understand the lesson. When they were trying to sooth us everytime we cry. In fact, I can understand what they were feel, and I can even feel it.

Being a teacher is an awful job, indeed. I'm thankful of being one of them even just for awhile. And now, I'm barely understand why people don't want to be a teacher. For those who will become a future teacher, go run for it. It's wonderful. Frankly typing.

I do love you invariably.

(too!)

I had a cryptic feeling. I even more not understood what is the right word to describe my feeling. I was dozing when I tried to think deeply about this. Again, I dreamt about you but I think it was pretty insane to dream about the same person for two days. After I had a conversation with one of my friends, I realized it was because I eternally love you from the day I met you until now, and I'm still waiting for you to come back no matter what. But I have seldom experienced such feeling, I mean after a year ago. After I got nobody in my miserable life. But you came into my life and you just wanted to choke my sorrow for losing you, love. And I do not know how to express this grateful feeling and I wish there was some way of showing my gratitude for all you have done for me. You're the first person that willing to hear my grief, to hear me crying all over the night. Your labour was appreciated, honestly. But you were merely left me alone here, and you asked me to wait for you. I do not know where is my power to take your word as a challenge. I just even worse now after you suddenly came into my dreams. I really hope you can read this because I've no doubt you feel what I feel.

I think I really miss someone.

I don't know what is this feeling. But frankly, I really do miss someone. I dreamt about you, the person that I really miss now. But I can't remember all of the dream. What I remember is, you look splendid, brilliant in my dream, and that's what you really are. For you, I hope you know who you are. In spite of we're far apart but still you are always remembered as someone that very special. Time is move slowly, dally. Please make it faster. I want to see you solemnly. I want you to come back quickly. I really want you, earnestly.

Change.

Kalaulah semua manusia ada hati yang sama, ada perasaan yang sama tentu takkan wujud masalah misunderstanding. Kalaulah semua manusia saling faham-memahami, pandai berinteraksi dengan baik tentu takkan ada masalah miscommunication. Kalau manusia rambut sama hitam, hati pun sama, mesti masalah-masalah macam ni takkan berlaku. But logically, kalau tak wujud masalah takkan juga wujud perubahan manusia, perubahan peradaban dan perubahan tamadun dunia. Perubahan terjadi kerana wujudnya masalah. Kita memahami konsep bagaimana tamadun dunia berubah setelah kedatangan Islam. Bagaimana juga pertembungan budaya yang pada mulanya adalah satu masalah, berakhir dengan satu perubahan yang nyata. Tapi masalahnya sekarang, adalah perubahan itu sendiri. Perubahan itu yang jadi satu masalah. Ya Allah, I rasa entry ni akan jadi sangat berat and at the end orang takkan baca. Susah. Berubah lah.

Maaf.

I've been too busy since I become a teacher last Monday. I wake up early in the morning at 6.45 am to get ready to go to school. I reach school at 8.00 am almost everyday if the traffic is just okay. I teach the standard 1,2 and 4 for English and Science subjects. I only have Wednesday as the most free day in my timetable. Thursday is the most busy day weekly. I finish at 1.00 pm and I have to handle the pupils to perform solah if the Ustaz goes somewhere else. I start the second session of teaching which is the Kelas Agama session at 2.00 pm. Actually, I don't teach permanently for the second session because I just have to replace if there any teachers absent at that particular time. The second session will be ended at 4 pm everyday, and I continue the third session which is Mengaji. Woohaaa, woohaaa, I teach them mengaji Quran you know. Then, they have to perform solah and the school session will be ended at 5 pm. I free after 5 pm but usually I have to wait for my father to pick me up until almost 6 pm everyday. If the traffic is not too crowded, then my father will reach at 5.30 pm. I reach home at 6.20 pm everyday and it is the earliest time that we can reach home. So, I spend almost my whole day at the school and I will be so tired at night. That's the reason why I will not update the blog everyday except for weekend. Sorry people.

p/s; Kalau lelaki baru nak usha awek apa yang selalu dia buat haaaa? Any ideas?